abd

yes, i do have the privilege of writing a dissertation. it seems almost masochistic to celebrate this fact, but such is the human condition.

the defense itself began somewhat unpropitiously. i had originally booked a room in the psychology building for the meeting, as is the custom, but geoff's needing to call in threw a spanner in the works as it's almost impossible to get cell phone reception in the lousy place. on wednesday, my committee chair had suggested her office, which i originally thought was rather a good idea -- if one is to go through these antediluvian customs to get a phd, one may as well go the whole hog, and isn't this how they did it in the old days? none of this conference room crap, certainly. in any case, when i got there, there was no one to be found, and only after several minutes of dashing up and down stairs did i finally locate my chair, who was in the pantry reading my papers for the first time. o, to have tenure. we kind of said fumbling, awkward things to each other for a bit, and then she said that her office was kind of a mess, should we hold the defense in the pantry, to which i had nothing in particular to say -- frankly, she could have suggested the verandah, or vaduz, liechtenstein as the venue at that point and i would have acquiesced. i left her with coffee and cake to finish the perusal of the manuscripts which i had just spent the better part of nine months working on, and went to find sympathy from daniel, or the other housemate, or whoever i could find. who i eventually did find is committee member #1 from my master's thesis defense (different committee), who gaily started telling me stories about the people who failed out of her program when she was a phd candidate, and what a total misery that experience was*. so that was quite the morale booster. i went back upstairs, and people were filing into the pantry for a birthday party, so that rather nixed that idea, and we went back to my chair's office carrying coffee and cake and trailing packets of sweet 'n' low all the way down the stairs. there was no flat surface in the room not covered with paper, and then the advisor showed up, and i couldn't find a place to sit, and then i got kicked out of the room anyway because what's more delightful than being talked about behind your back. i went outside, and sat on the stairs, and discovered that the walls of the ccn are so thin that i could hear everything that was being said anyway. norah the student receptionist was there, and said 'that was quick', and i said that it had only just started, and she offered to put on some music so that i didn't have to listen to myself being talked about, and we had radiohead for a while as she ate her gyro and i tried to keep my heart in my chest. i got called back in. geoff was on the line. questions, most of them actually pretty easy -- in fact, the biggest problem was that geoff's line was rather bad, and half the time i think i was answering the questions that i wanted to rather than those that were actually being asked. fun bits: citing studies in my answers as i went along. terribly nerdy, but i still think it's cool as hell. it was over quick, and as i said, it was good news, and then the advisor and the chair sat and gossiped about university politics for an hour.

so, one more thing to go at penn, the big 'D' word, but before that, lots and lots of BYOBs in the summer, and a few trips, and hopefully not dying of swine flu or the like. speaking of which, if swine flu is a concern for you or your family, get the facts here: www.doihaveswineflu.org


* when alyson was defending her master's thesis, at the bit where one gets kicked out into the hallway, she was sitting there stewing with anxiety when dr. goldstein, one of the clinical supervisors in our program and kindliest man ever, came lumbering down the hallway, asked her what was going on, then sat down, gave her a hug, and said that everything was going to be all right. boys need hugs too!