what happened

one of the primary thoughts after getting a phd for me turned out to be: chances seem very good that for this to balance out karmically i'm going to walk out of the psych building and immediately get run over by a freight truck, or abducted by trafalmadorians. instead, there was a light drizzle, and walking uneventfully to mid-atlantic, and eating fried clams as the adrenalin slowly ebbed away.

as usual, there was drama: after my experiences with my masters thesis and qualifying exams, you would think i'd have at least one oral at penn that proceeded in a calm and orderly fashion. instead, the worst was saved for last when i learned 45 minutes before my talk that geoff had been called away for a family medical emergency, and that we may have been able to proceed at all. i've come to believe that after all these years he doesn't quite understand what a phd is, because he also sent a text message to my committee chair to "congratulate" me on being done. point of order: first you defend the dissertation, then the congratulations are due. anyway, the department secretary and our DCT, who both deserve to be canonized, spent the next hour making calls to just about every damn person in the school to figure out what was to be done*, and although there was a 20-minute span where things looked especially grim, and where i was starting to resign myself to Doom, in the end the dean came through and blessed the occasion, essentially forcing our stubborn-as-a-mule director of graduate studies to capitulate, and the rest, as they say, was gravy. well, almost -- because of the fiasco there was no time to buy coffee (thanks to the housemate for stepping up and doing that**), and by the time i actually began my talk, i wasn't no longer actually thinking about the talk at all. naturally, this meant it was one of the best talks i've given in my life. as for the private defense, i've had time to meditate on it, and have decided that it's not the kind of thing one should discuss, its contents sort of like what transpires in a confessional. like, everyone knows it happened, and that (obviously) it wasn't easy, but the actual process is -- well, it literally is a modern-day rite of passage, and like all good rites of passage should not be spoken of lest the magic flee the tribe.

it's been quite a ride. i found myself quite unexpectedly tearing up on my final slide, my acknowledgments slide, and had to take a short but very important moment as the thoughts caught up to the emotions: this much is Done, and new things lie ahead.


* none of this would have been quite as bad had the deadline for defending not been the 26th.

** no coffee = very cranky advisor. no, seriously. you don't know my advisor.