Tuesday, May 31, 2005

last day

-- in, well, that place, and contemplating my cleaned-out desk with some satisfaction. Someone left a slice of chocolate cake on my table while I was away with the word "sackee" (I think) scrawled in a very curly font on the top. I'm not sure exactly what that's supposed to mean. Went to the airport for lunch. There's going to be a proper send-off one of these evenings as well, and I am told there will be a proper gift at the time. Subtle hints about the desirability of Borders vouchers have been dropped.


Well. It's been a year since graduation, and I have not come very far. I suppose you could make an argument for strength of character and accumulated wisdom, but that's really neither here nor there.

The thing is, I'm afraid of being judged, afraid that if I don't make a beeline for "success" -- whatever that is -- people will assume I'm messing around or making a hash of things. Which is stupid for two reasons: first, that the people who truly care probably aren't assuming/judging anyway, and second, my perceived failures are only failures to reach standards that I've set for myself. Life lesson learned? Get over yourself, you idiot.

I could use a jackalope though.

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