fast food

so i was in long john silver's on friday grabbing a quick dinner before bridge - ljs because friday is no-meat day for my catholic self. and i have to stand there squinting at the menu for several minutes before concluding that they have no (as in zero) value meals that don't have chicken in them. they have chicken fries salad and coke, chicken fish fries salad and coke, chicken fish shrimp fries salad and coke etc. but no fish fries and coke. and fish and fries on its own costs 5.50 and damnit i don't want to pay another 2 dollars for a drink that i wouldn't really want if the meal wasn't so salty to begin with and NOT get a salad in the bargain. so i ask the lady at the counter (who didn't really seem to understand english - but do i point that out to people? NO) if she can give me one of the chicken fish fries salad and coke meals but swap the chicken for fish. no. can i pay extra and swap the chicken for fish? no. is there any blasted way i can not get chicken in the meal? NO. so i end up with the fish and fries after all and get an extra slaw and i don't buy a drink on principle and imbibe instead at the scba water fountain. but hello. it's called long john silver's, people. pirates! the ocean! NOT SO MANY CHICKENS IN THE ATLANTIC THE LAST TIME I LOOKED.