English

- is, as everyone knows, a most counterintuitive language in terms of grammar, spelling and pronunciation, something that could easily be rectified by borrowing some of the tricks of the Internet generation. For instance, ‘tmrw’ is, in my opinion, a far superior spelling of ‘tomorrow’, immediately getting rid of the misspelling ‘tommorow’ while remaining an obvious signifier of the word. No confusion with changing ‘how are you’ to ‘how r u’ either. Where there is ambiguity (e.g ‘hlo’ being either ‘halo’ or ‘hello’), the abbreviation should apply to either the more common word or the word that would more logically abbreviate that way (in this case ‘hello’). Vowels are overrated! Other changes: we need more letters. ‘sh’ is an inadequate replacement for the schwa…we should just have a schwa. Then we could spell words like ‘motion’ /mo?un/ and get rid of all the confusion of how to pronounce things. Same with /?/ and /?/ and the rest of them.

It could work. I don’t approve of things like ROFLMAO and AYBABTU, but honestly, some of this common usage shorthand really could be an improvement to the language if we look past our prejudices and notice the inefficiencies and archaism. Or I could just be completely out of my mind. It is late, and my poor brain is fuddled.