because someone made me think of it today

i do worry about money. i don't covet it, but it does occur to me dimly that i'm going to hit the age of 30 with very little squirreled away and a rather uncertain career ahead. i've tried several times to figure out how much i should be expecting to earn when i'm done, and have come up with estimates all over the map from dismal to pretty reasonable.

and no, i still wouldn't have had it any other way, but the feelings are complicated and will be till i graduate; and there is ever the fear that, in monetary terms alone, this is irresponsible and foolish; and that i've made some terrible mistake which will cost me dearly further down the line.