there's no denying it, i feel ashamed, somehow, of the fact that i'm going to be starting work in as an administrator -- despite all the self-talk about (a) this being only temporary (i hope) and (b) the fact that i should be happy to have any work at all, there's still this feeling that i am letting everyone - and myself - down. one forsook the scholarship road four years ago for the freedom to choose, and it just seems that i'm now making a terrible hash of what was so dearly bought.