half of the department was at the abct (association for behavioral and cognitive therapists) conference this week, making it a lonely and boring one on top of the rain and gloom. it didn't help that the conference was literally held in disneyworld -- i mean, weren't they going to at least pretend that actual work was going on? on thursday i made myself even more depressed by sitting in the office reading the wiki page for epcot and daydreaming about sipping harvey wallbangers poolside under sunshine and cloudless skies. the reality: sifting through the eight billion papers that have now formed mountainous piles on my desk to find the ones with the info i need.

there was the newness of becoming a third-year student, and having to give real therapy, and the historic election, but now that things have settled down i find that i'm a slow grinding war of attrition with my work, at one of those points where all past accomplishments seem futile and the future rises like an escarpment, the summit out of sight. i need to come up with one more good project, and soon, before the money runs dry, but i have no idea what to do -- i'm a little sick of imaging, the bigger questions i have are still intractable, and doing something unrelated to sleep at this point is probably tantamount to career suicide. i feel like i need a week or two off to just stop, and think, and halt the slow descent into panic.