sg

after 3 days of rather intense catching-up, i realize that i'm not as young as i used to be, and it comforts me little to know that every time i come back from now till i graduate will be more and more exhausting. this as the little police state gets increasingly crowded, and not just in the malls, but everywhere, and everyone so young and blithe. i can deal, but not as a young person; i feel now more than ever that i have to go around in long sleeves and tie and hang in snooty bars and coffee houses where they charge $9.50 for a latte, regardless of whether or not my stipend can support that, because of, you know, no longer seeing through a glass darkly. there is something i've missed by not being here consistently since '01, some transition that people in nus law and medicine make that i just completely bypassed, where you learn to vanish into secret places in roads only accessible by car and sip dark wines and make quiet conversation. i need to have more money. i need to stop getting caught in liminal spaces.